I’ve been feeling pretty crappy about myself this semester. It feels like nothing is where it is supposed to be and I don’t know where I’m going. As tempted as I am to say fuck it all to the real world, the reality is that I like the lifestyle I have – and that is made infinitely more possible by having a second income. I like having money to spend on any number of things – including my writing projects (editors and cover images aren’t the cheapest items) and travel (to anywhere in the world – although Iceland, Romania and the Seychelles are currently featuring). The thing is, with a finite amount of time in the day I find myself unable to accomplish everything in the four sectors I internally judge myself on: exercise, work, writing, and adulting (which relates to anything and everything).
Over the past few months, I find myself only being able to hit two out of the four on any given day. After work, I have nothing left over for any of the other things I want to do. I don’t like feeling the way I do, but I can’t figure out how to address it. I’ve recently started with a small change. Last week, I started getting up earlier, so that I would at least be able to check off the ‘exercise’ task on my list. This change has not led to more effort in the categories of writing or adulting, but I am hopeful. Am I being too hard on myself? Probably.
Here’s a list by the numbers from January 2015.
1 = root canal
11,856 = Tumblr followers
5 years = amount of time I don’t have to worry about birth control (thanks Mirena!)
65,759 = number of words for the first draft of The Queen of England: Coronation
298 = number of pages (almost) edited for Life After Joe
IDK = number of faculty contracts, amendments, and other letters sent
IDK = number of books sold (but I can assure you it’s not as many as I would like)
7 days = number of vacation days (no wonder I’m exhausted!)
35 years = my age as of March 17
2 = new book ideas conceived
1 = month I went without soda (never to be repeated)
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